Past Forward
by Rhianona
Summary: Ronon/Amelia; Ronon didn't expect to meet someone so soon after Jennifer.


_Disclaimer: SGA doesn't belong to me._

_Pairings: Ronon/Amelia Banks; Rodney/Jennifer; past Ronon/Jennifer; past Rodney/Katie; past Ronon/Melena_

"Hey, buddy," Sheppard says softly at his arm. "You uh… doing okay?"

It doesn't take a genius to realize that Sheppard referred to the sight of Rodney and Jennifer walking closely together past them.

"Yep," Ronon tells him.

"Are you sure? Because, you know… you can always talk to me… or um… Teyla."

By which Ronon translates as, "Please. Go to Teyla to talk about your feelings. Unless you really want to talk to me. Then, okay. Talk to me. But remember to bring some beer, or maybe that hooch that Zelenka makes, that I'm not supposed to know about. Because you know I'm crap at talking about emotions."

"Nah. Don't need to," Ronon answers him. A part of him is a bit surprised that Sheppard would offer. Everyone knows that McKay is Sheppard's best friend. Sheppard wouldn't take sides - he's far too professional for that - but, he has to sympathize more with McKay than Ronon. Though, Sheppard also loves his team, and Ronon knows he genuinely wants to know if this is going to be problem. The team won't work if two members resent each other, and Ronon knows that the team is Sheppard's surrogate family. He won't like it if they tear each other apart.

Ronon claps a hand on Sheppard's shoulder and tosses off a grin. "We're on for our run tomorrow," he confirms, returning to the conversation they had been having before McKay and Keller walked by. Sheppard nods and Ronon can tell he's not sure whether to believe Ronon's assurance. But he also won't push; he'll wait until Ronon wants to speak to him about - or if it spills over into the team.

***

Ronon freely admits - if anyone asks - that his attraction towards Jennifer is aided, in no small part, to her resemblance to Melena. Both young, beautiful, and fiercely protective of their patients. More than that, they're willing to die for those in their care. They both take their doctor's oath to an extent that both impresses him and infuriates him.

Unfortunately, Jennifer is not Melena, and he quickly discovers this. She never looks below the surface for him, accepting the superficial front he presents to most people on Atlantis. She's not interested in _who_ he is, doesn't want to know what he thinks about Pegasus or the expedition, or what he wants out of life. Oh, she asks - and he thinks she even listens. But she doesn't _hear_. It doesn't take more than a few dates for him to realize that he doesn't want to pursue her.

It doesn't stop him from making McKay work for it.

The way Jennifer flirts with McKay, even while showing interest in him, also annoys him. It smacks of childish behavior, and he thinks her better than that. He doesn't think she acts that way on purpose, but it bothers him, and not just for his sake. McKay doesn't have a lot of confidence when it comes to relationships, and Ronon doesn't like how ready he is to concede the field to Ronon, when Ronon still pretends to also want Jennifer. It's when McKay actually announces he's not going to back off, that Ronon realizes how serious McKay is about Jennifer.

Ronon respects McKay. He wishes the scientist would put more effort in hand-to-hand practice, and try to do more than _just_ qualify for pistols and P-90s, but he also knows that one of the greatest assets AR-1 has when they go out through the 'gate is McKay's brain. Usually, if Teyla can't help them diplomatically, or he and Sheppard can't shoot their way out, it's McKay who figures out how to get them back to the 'gate and Atlantis. They're a team, and as much as Ronon hates to admit it - and only will late at night and only to himself - they're closer and work together better than his old Satedan unit. More than that, they're family.

And like all family, he does get irritated at the members. Since Ronon has come to Atlantis, McKay had had an romance with Katie Brown; Ronon has had none. He offered his sympathies with the rest of his team when Rodney had told them Katie had broken up with him. Sometimes he wishes McKay had decided to stay out of the dating game a bit longer, just long enough for Ronon to explore things just a bit more with Jennifer. He hasn't allowed himself to look at another person in years; too many years as a Runner made him wary of endangering others. But Atlantis is different; the expedition has brought him into their fold, and he feels a sense of safety with them that he hasn't felt since Sateda. It had taken him a few years to relax enough to even _want_ to seek someone out for more than friendship. And Jennifer had been there, so like Melena that his heart had ached at the sight of her.

In the end, she chooses one of her own people. He can't blame her. McKay, for all his issues, will treat her as she expects. He doesn't carry the baggage of being one of the last of his people, or having been a Runner for seven years. They come from a common culture, and share an innocence Ronon has long since lost. So, no. He doesn't really blame McKay for wanting Jennifer, or her for choosing someone other than himself.

He does blame her for not telling him of her choice, until it had become all but obvious to everyone on Atlantis.

***

"Can you show me that block again?" Amelia asks Ronon.

"Sure," he replies easily. He demonstrates the move once again, this time exaggerating the motion, showing her step-by-step how to do it. She studies him intensely, her body awkwardly following his movements.

"Better, this time," he compliments her.

"Yeah, but not perfect," she laughs ruefully. "I don't know why I can't get it." She rolls her shoulders, loosening the muscles.

"Concentrating too hard," Ronon tells her. "Getting too tense, because you're trying too hard. Watch, don't try to copy me." And he shows her the motions of the movement again. His limbs flow smoothly through the exercise, demonstrating more than anything else his mastery of this form of combat. It's a dance he's long had mastery over, and one he's happy to show others the steps to. He feels Amelia's eyes on him, carefully memorizing his actions. He knows her own muscles are tensed, ready to ape his movements, but he also knows she won't disobey his order. All the 'Lanteans he's trained have learned to listen when he says something. If they don't, they usually end up hurt.

"Think you got it?" he asks, after he returns to his start position.

She bites her lip, and frowns in concentration. "Maybe." She throws him a quick grin. "We'll find out, won't we?" He answers her grin with one of his own, suddenly glad that no one else is present in the side gym he's commandeered for his own.

He watches her carefully, nodding with approval as she manages to complete the _kata_ without any mistakes. "Good. Do it again." After all, just because she got it right the first time, doesn't mean she's mastered it. By now, she's practiced with him enough to understand his reasoning, and she doesn't utter a complaint as she works through the steps again.

When their spar is over, she slings a towel over her shoulder. Ronon gathers his things; Amelia is his last student of the day, and he wants to shower before he heads to dinner. Impulsively, he turns to her. "Want to grab dinner?"

He surprises her. Her eyes widen and her face flushes. For a moment, he thinks he should have kept his mouth shut, but then she smiles. "Sure. Want to meet me in thirty?"

"Sounds good." She hurries out of the room; Ronon shakes his head. He suddenly has the urge to seek out Teyla and ask her advice. Too bad she's on New Athos, visiting her people with Kanaan and Torren. He'll just have to muddle through on his own.

***

Not surprisingly, Teyla notices his interest in Amelia first. She has always read Ronon's emotions easier than anyone else has since Melena. "Amelia is lovely," she comments. "Torren likes it when she watches him." Torren, they've discovered, is a very good judge of character. Ronon shrugs.

"Don't know what's going on yet," he confesses. Jennifer's rejection still stings, even if she isn't who he thought, and even if he's happy that McKay seems to be having luck with her.

Teyla nods in that mysterious way she does, and changes the subject. He can tell she has a good idea of where he's heading, but he likes that she doesn't push. She knows he'll come to her when he's ready.

***

"Dinner?" Amelia asks, tossing the empty bottle of water from one hand to the other. It was a good workout, and Ronon was happy to see she could finally do the sequence she had been having trouble with two weeks ago. It meant they could move onto the next one.

"Sure," he tells her.

"Good. I hear they're serving the last of the pudding tonight." He smiles reflexively, knowing well the 'Lantean's obsession with pudding.

Only later, when he's in his own room, dressing after his shower, does he realize what dinner tonight means. The last of the pudding means his team will surely be present in the mess hall. Normally, that means he eats with them. But somehow, he doesn't think Amelia meant the invitation to include the rest of his team. He wonders if he should say something - to her, to them - before deciding it doesn't matter. He'll eat with her, and deal with the rest another time.

He swings by Amelia's room to pick her up on the way to the mess. He can tell she's put some effort for tonight: her hair is loosed from the normal bun, she's put on some makeup, and spritzed on some perfume - something new. "I like the new scent," he compliments her. She looks up at him in surprise.

"Oh… thanks," she blushes. "Katie Brown's been experimenting. She's been mixing scents from Earth flowers and Pegasus ones."

"Smells good." He thinks he can detect the light floral scent of the _karimi_ plant. It's one that grows all over Pegasus, and important to many spring sowing celebrations among the more pastoral peoples. It's supposed to bring luck, and romance. He wonders if she knows this.

The mess hall is crowded. Ronon quickly scans the room, but doesn't see any of his team. Amelia quickly grabs a tray, and he follow suit. The cooks look relieved that this is the last of the pudding cups. It means that no one bothers them too much until the next shipment. Using his height, Ronon scouts out a secluded table near one of the balconies. "Come on," he urges, jerking his head to show the empty seat. She gives him a startled glance, and he wonders if he has misread her. But no, the smile that practically glows indicates the opposite. Maybe she just thought he isn't ready.

On Sateda, a woman showed interest in a man by wearing a _pris_ flower in her hair, and presenting to him an _obaw_ cake. A man showed interest by weaving the _golani_ vine into his hair, and presenting to his chosen lady a _treas_ cake. Acceptance of the cake meant acceptance of the courtship. In Athosian culture, a woman can indicate a preference or desire for courtship in many ways, but only a man can initiate courtship.

On Atlantis, it's different. From the first, he knows the expedition plays by rules different from his childhood. And that's okay, because it's the first time in seven years he's had a place to call home, and he relishes the stark contrast. It's a clean break from his life _before_. It takes him a while to figure out the different social mores of the expedition, hindered, in part by the diverse cultures that make up the expedition. In the end, he relies on a mixture of hints dropped by the Marines he trains, comments by Sheppard and McKay, the various tv shows and movies he watches on team nights, and Teyla.

If he finds it ironic that he learns the dating ways of Earth from a non-Earther, he never mentions it. Teyla understands the same confusion he has, and is able to translate the more cumbersome details into a context he understands. It really hasn't mattered though, as Ronon has not shown interest in anyone - male or female - since he arrived. He hasn't been ready, still mourning all he lost. Seven years Running meant he had no time to grieve for Sateda and his unit, and Melena.

Now, it's a different story. His attempt with Jennifer didn't work out, but he's hoping whatever he has with Amelia does. Now, to figure out whether she's on the same page as him.

"This is a date, right?" he asks. He likes taking the blunt approach, especially after the miscommunication he had had with Jennifer. He knows that the norm for most of the expedition is to dance around the attraction until _something_ happens and both parties are willing to acknowledge it. He thinks that's just stupid. He doesn't have the _treas_ cake to present to her, and the _golani_ vine rests wild and untended on Sateda. So this will have to do.

"Excuse me?" Amelia responds, her eyes widening in surprise as she almost chokes on the food she is chewing. She hastily swallows; "Um… what did you just say?"

Ronon bites back the sigh. He almost wishes he had asked Teyla to find out for him, rather than confronting Amelia himself. He's also glad they're sitting in a secluded area. There's no need to advertise this to the whole of Atlantis. They'll find out eventually but he doesn't see the need to announce it to all and sundry. "This is a date, right? 'Cause if it's not, that's cool, but I want to know." Yeah, he'll be disappointed if she's not interested in him, but he's fine if she just wants to be friends. He just wants to know.

"Oh… um…" she trails off, and he wonders if he has misread her. "Um… yeah. I guess this is a date." By this time her skin has flushed an attractive pink, and she has trouble meeting his eyes. He's a bit taken aback by that, because one of the aspects that attracts him to Amelia is that she usually attacks everything head on. He has assumed she would do the same when it came to relationships. Apparently, not.

"Cool," he says and grins. He grabs her hand across the the table, and her eyes flick to his for a moment. He just squeezes it before releasing it and returning to his meal.

"Really? I mean… I wasn't sure," she stammers.

He shrugs. "I like you," he states bluntly.

She grins slowly. "I like you, too."

***

Atlantis has a small population, which means keeping secrets is no easy thing. Despite that, not many people knew about Ronon and Amelia's burgeoning relationship. Chuck knows, but then he knows _everything_. It comes in handy, what with his extra curricular activities of running the Atlantis Book and the black market. Ronon tells Teyla, mostly because he wants some advice on how to properly court Amelia. And he's pretty sure Amelia has told some of her friends. By and large though, very few others are aware.

Ronon likes that. He's not ashamed, but he doesn't want everyone on Atlantis looking at them and analyzing their every movement. As it is, they are both so busy that they barely have the time to explore what they do have. Woolsey sends AR-1 through the 'gate at almost every opportunity; half the time he has downtime, she's on schedule in the 'gate room. But they still spar, and they still sneak quiet meals together, or catch a movies or tv shows in one of their rooms. They're going slowly, but it works.

Amelia fits Ronon in a way he didn't expect. He's happy to take the risk and step into the unknown with her. He knows she'll fight at his side. And really? That's all he wants.

_/fin_


End file.
